May has finally ended,and its the beggining of June.I just realized how time passes so quickly!Life’s normal,infact very normal.Except for exams,COMING REAL SOON.

 

 

Gahhh.

 

 

 

I’m not complaining but i just thought i ought to do something much more interesting and it benefits me no?I’ve so much in mind,but i just can’t seem to even start working on my plans!I was thinking too far away,and its all about what happens if i succeeded;results.Uh uh,this is no good.Results don’t show if you just sit and wait and day dream everyday.And sometimes things doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be,there will always be obstacles in life,so that experience will be gained, lesson will be learnt.

 

 

I’ve learnt that,when you start doing something,always start small.And always break things down into pieces so that you could digest slowly so that things will be done accurately  instead of forcing yourself to learn everything and do everything at once and make things out of control.

 

 

Haste makes waste!

 

 

 

Okay,i’m actually very sleepy right now but i think i ought to complete this post before i head to dreamland.I’m knackered due to the long hours of casting today.It was my second casting,cause apparently i heard the first one turned out quite well.Fingers crossed.After this week i’ll be on hiatus!EXAMS EXAMS!So do appreciate every single post that i’m updating right now!!You’ll not able to see me for a month.

 

 

 

As if it does matters to you guys.LOL

 

 

 

A short recap of Wonderful May.Lunch date with daddy.Its a must everyweek!

 

Sometimes Barney boy tags along..

 

 

 

 It was Wesak day,we had lunch at Purple Cane,Pudu.

Beautiful lantern paintaings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 Rice that contains five different grains.Purple cane is all about healthy diet.They serve green tea rice too!

 

 

 

 Every dish is served with less oil,less salt,less sugar!Some people find it bland because they’re so used to strong flavors,but its alright for me.Especially when you had too heavy diet for the week,you want to go for something light,there’s always Purple Cane!Not forgetting to mention their dishes are all inspired by tea.So its basically tea cuisine which means every dish will be pairing with different tea leafs.

 

 

 

 

Daddy!Same eyes,same nose. 

 

 

 

 GUESS WHO?!Twin bags.

 

 

 

 NC!Finally we hung out.

 

 

 

 It was make up free day!Feels so good.Nah!stare all you want i don’t care.

 

 

 

People actually believes that NC’s Barney boy’s girlfriend and i’m Barney boy’s sister.

Are they blind or something?!Can’t they tell their similiarities?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 And this is my sister.

 

 

 

 This is the purple dino noming on chopsticks because he hasn’t been eating for centuries.

 

 

 

Dinner at Reunion on one random night.Mummy wasn’t at home,someone’s got to baby sit!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Putting on my nerdy specs. My power is increasing,i’m going blind soon.

 

Help.

 

 

 

 

REUNION AGAIN!

But this time is for breakfast.Ms.Franny honey bunny is craving for dim sum,and i have casting at noon in Bangsar.So we went to Reunion.I’m inBangsar like almost everyweek lately.Ivan and Kimee joined us too!But they were late like almost an hour.Still,i enjoyed catching up!

 

 

 

After having her Blackberry,she’s busier than everyone else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although she talks too much,bitch alot,whines like there’s no tomorrow but hey!This woman has got her point there.She’s elder than anyone of us after all,of course she’s experiential than anyone of us.

BEWARE,this woman can brainwash.

 

 

See?Ivan’s breathless facial expression.She’s brainwashing!Ahhhh!*runs*

 

 

 

Kimee too!! 

 

 

 

This was yesterday.

 

 

In Bangsar again!But this time with someone that i hardly see her a few times in a year.And it would be more difficult starting from next week because she’s leaving to US for furthur studies.This girl has huge future ahead!Despite all the unpleasent happenings between me and him,i still treat you as my sis.I’m never angry at you,don’t be so silly anymore kay!

 

 

 

Finally settled her bread&butter pudding crave!Waited for like hours till my turn to cast.Felt so sorry that she has to wait along.

 

 

 

 My self-confidence were a zero yesterday.Their requirements are:NO FALSIES,ONLY MASCARA,NO EYELINER,NO CONTACT LENSES!

 

 

 

I FEEL SO NAKED! 

 

 

 

Chilled at my house after that. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheeeeeezels.Me love. 

 

 

 

 Spent hours chatting by the pool.

From the conversation we had,this girl has much matured thinking now.Ohh!People grow up so quickly don’t they!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wishing you a safe flight here,all the best when you get there.When there’s obstacles,don’t worry,there’s always a beautiful colourful rainbow after it rains.

I will miss you. 

 

 

 

The last bus to dreamland is waiting!I can’t stay any longer!

 

 

 

Good night lovelies.

 

Days&nights.Haribo.Techno.Cancer sticks.Nothing helps.

 

Since when it started,is there an end?

 

What’s the truth?

 

Suppression of emotion/feeling’s like a rolling snow ball,it gets bigger&bigger,one day someone might get hurt.

 

Too self-devoted,it makes me suffer.Sick&tired of games.Once is stupid enough,twice is foolish.Life’s going counterclockwise since that day started,i’m brainwashed.Everytime when it started,they have to leave.Why does it has to be like this?

 

Quit mind fucking.

 

Lost of directions in the midst of the four letter word,but i was too afraid to accept the fact.

 

Its time to stop hiding in your shell and get the hell out of here.Time to move on.

 

 

‘Do you like my present?Teddy’s heart was suppose to be missing but i think he had found his heart back to you.I hope that you would put it on top of your piano and when you see teddy,you’ll think of me.’ He says.

 

‘Hmm,i dont think its a good idea.Crystals are fragile and they’ll break easily.I think i’ll just keep it safe in the box.’ She said.

 

But deep down inside she knows,it isn’t the crystals she wanted to protect.It was her feelings,her sadness for those awful memories that happened,she was trying to burried it deep down just like how she’s going to keep that crystal teddy bear in the box,leaving it untouched forever.She wanted to forget bout the past,and everything.But only when this crystal has to be out of her sight,and its too beautiful to destroy it.

 

‘Can you give me a hug?’ He asked,but she refused to,cause she knows she has to let him go.

 

‘Its late,you should get going now.Don’t let them wait too long.‘She says bitterly.

 

There,he left.Warm tears were rolling down her cheeks.

 

 

Who knows the night of my birthday will end like this.PATHETIC.I had doubts when i was writing this,but now i don’t.Because i’m so sick of assholes lying their teeth off and everyone thinks that i’m the bitchy dramatic ex trying to ruin some happily ever after relationship my ex boyfriend’s having which was a lie.I think i should just stand up for myself once,or maybe twice.

 

If i’m treating him good,i’m just being cruel to myself.And why on earth should i offer him a heart full of mercy when he doesn’t even have mercy towards me?!

 

Many of you might be thinking,’why this girl like that one?!’ Her ex boyfriend treat her so good,and now she’s trying to write a post to ruin him.

 

Sad to tell you,your good looking prince charming weren’t the mr.nice guy you’ve seen in my blog years ago.Now he’s the biggest loser i’ve ever seen in my life.Yes,and i’m referring to my we-used-to-be-very-lovey-dovey ex boyfriend,Sun.Yes,i know its not a good idea to blog about him at this hour because we’ve nothing to do with each other anymore.But i think i’ll regret for the rest of my life for not letting it out.

 

THIS IS MY BLOG AFTERALL.I can write whatever i want.

 

Occasionally,he’ll text me messages that tell me how much he misses me and how much he still loves me and he can’t forget me after the break up.His new girlfriend were just merely a replacement to heal his broken heart.And to be honest,sometimes i’ll get influence by his messages and i will think that how nice if we’re still together.But i don’t really bother to reply,or maybe i’ll just make a joke and laugh it off so that things wouldn’t be so awkward.Till then once,it was November and it was his birthday,he invited me out for a date on a Sunday night for movies and dinner to celebrate his birthday(He has a girlfriend okay.)

 

And he has this house party going on,on Saturday night and he says he couldn’t invite me because his girlfriend’s going to be there so that he wanted to date me out on Sunday night.So what am i going to be?!The third party who sneaks out with him without his girlfriend knowing?!!How ironically could it be when a used-to-be-girlfriend innocently became the third party.OF COURSE I SAID NO.Although i really really wanted to hang out with him to see if we still deserve a chance but it wouldn’t be fair to his current girlfriend.And i told him if we’re only friends,he should invite me to his party instead of dating me out on a Sunday night without letting his girlfriend know.

 

And after this whole ‘he wanted to ask me out for a date’ thingy occured,he tells me that he wanted to break up with her and eventually he did.But in the middle they were on and off.He told me that he sympathize her and he felt so guilty to her,so he asked me to wait for her exams to be over and he’ll break up with her and patch back with me. And i really did wait.

 

Sometimes he would ask me to his house for dinner,tell me how much his mum misses me and we did have dinner a few times.And he could just lie infront of my face whenever she calls him.Do you know how i feel?I felt like crap.And he would ask me not to post our outings on twitter or whatnot,incase she knows about it.

 

I knew that he was lying to me cause he never ever thought of giving up her nor me.He just want both of the girls i guess,and practically we,the girls are like oysters on the plate and he’s still choosing which is fresher and bigger.I know that he was just holding me on so he could get both of the girls.

 

I told him i quit,i wanted to move on already.Then he lied to me that he was already single and even prove to me on his FB status that he was single.

 

EVERYTHING WAS A LIE.And the girl on the other side doesn’t know bout anything till i called her and tried to sort all the mysteries out.

 

He knows that i’ll still wait for him no matter how,so it doesn’t really matter if he’s out there having fun with other girls.Till then when he’s bored of them,he’ll come back to my side.I DON’T WANT THIS KIND OF PERSON TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.

 

Really.And i don’t want a coward like this to be my boyfriend either.So i moved on,and i really treated him as a friend only.Whenever he sees that i’m moving on,he holds me back.But whenever i’m ready to commit and give him another chance to try,he’ll just turn me off and ask me to wait.

 

What’s enough,its enough.He wanted another chance(which already been given alot of times) on my birthday party,but i guess i’m already immune.He calls me eventhough i’m so far away,and like old times,he lied to her.Suprisingly i was strong enough to walk away from someone i really really couldn’t give up on.It might hurt,but this is a process of healing i guess.

 

Now everything’s clear enough,i guess he’s going back to the girl’s side,because he knows that there’s no hope that i’ll be with him anymore.

 

Sometimes i just wish that i could give her a tight slap on her face so that she would be totally awake and ask  her to stop being delusional because she deserves a better guy.She doesn’t deserve to be the spare tyre or replacement that she shouldn’t be.

 

But i heard love is blind.Go live your happily ever after.

 

What happens on year 2009 stays in year 2009,there’s always a reason why people like him didn’t make it to my future.

 

I should be glad.Its not like i’ll die without having a boyfriend right?Who knows i’ll find someone better?

P/S:To everyone of you out there,sometimes you can’t just protect your boyfriend blindly without knowing the situation.IT MIGHT JUST HURT YOU MORE.And if you think that other girls are seducing your boyfriend,please tie him up in the cannal and look after him.It might be better,or not.Because you can’t make a drama scene when there’s only one actor on stage.I might look like a fool for writing this post,but it doesn’t really matter anymore.

 

Btw,forgive&forget?Hell yeah.Forgive myself for being so stupid and naive,and forget that he even existed in my life.

 

Sometimes you might seem strong for keep holding on,but it really takes much more strength to just let it go and move on.I might sound agressive at times,looking tough and strong like nothing in this world worries me much..If i could lift it up,i could put it down..

 

 

But deep down inside,i’m just a girl.

 

 

Edited*

 

If anyone of you tend to leave harsh comments saying that i’m trying to spread rumors or yada yada..I don’t think its a very good idea,the only person who had the conversation is me,him & her.Well unless they want to cover up the truth and say i’m trying to ruin their relationship by spreading this big fat rumor,i really have nothing to say.But…phone messages and records might explain better.Do i need to say more?

 

And please read twice before you want to judge me,afterall i just thought it would be a very good lesson to share with my female readers.Is there something wrong?

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 

xo.

Fishballs!