Forgive & forget.

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‘Do you like my present?Teddy’s heart was suppose to be missing but i think he had found his heart back to you.I hope that you would put it on top of your piano and when you see teddy,you’ll think of me.’ He says.

 

‘Hmm,i dont think its a good idea.Crystals are fragile and they’ll break easily.I think i’ll just keep it safe in the box.’ She said.

 

But deep down inside she knows,it isn’t the crystals she wanted to protect.It was her feelings,her sadness for those awful memories that happened,she was trying to burried it deep down just like how she’s going to keep that crystal teddy bear in the box,leaving it untouched forever.She wanted to forget bout the past,and everything.But only when this crystal has to be out of her sight,and its too beautiful to destroy it.

 

‘Can you give me a hug?’ He asked,but she refused to,cause she knows she has to let him go.

 

‘Its late,you should get going now.Don’t let them wait too long.‘She says bitterly.

 

There,he left.Warm tears were rolling down her cheeks.

 

 

Who knows the night of my birthday will end like this.PATHETIC.I had doubts when i was writing this,but now i don’t.Because i’m so sick of assholes lying their teeth off and everyone thinks that i’m the bitchy dramatic ex trying to ruin some happily ever after relationship my ex boyfriend’s having which was a lie.I think i should just stand up for myself once,or maybe twice.

 

If i’m treating him good,i’m just being cruel to myself.And why on earth should i offer him a heart full of mercy when he doesn’t even have mercy towards me?!

 

Many of you might be thinking,’why this girl like that one?!’ Her ex boyfriend treat her so good,and now she’s trying to write a post to ruin him.

 

Sad to tell you,your good looking prince charming weren’t the mr.nice guy you’ve seen in my blog years ago.Now he’s the biggest loser i’ve ever seen in my life.Yes,and i’m referring to my we-used-to-be-very-lovey-dovey ex boyfriend,Sun.Yes,i know its not a good idea to blog about him at this hour because we’ve nothing to do with each other anymore.But i think i’ll regret for the rest of my life for not letting it out.

 

THIS IS MY BLOG AFTERALL.I can write whatever i want.

 

Occasionally,he’ll text me messages that tell me how much he misses me and how much he still loves me and he can’t forget me after the break up.His new girlfriend were just merely a replacement to heal his broken heart.And to be honest,sometimes i’ll get influence by his messages and i will think that how nice if we’re still together.But i don’t really bother to reply,or maybe i’ll just make a joke and laugh it off so that things wouldn’t be so awkward.Till then once,it was November and it was his birthday,he invited me out for a date on a Sunday night for movies and dinner to celebrate his birthday(He has a girlfriend okay.)

 

And he has this house party going on,on Saturday night and he says he couldn’t invite me because his girlfriend’s going to be there so that he wanted to date me out on Sunday night.So what am i going to be?!The third party who sneaks out with him without his girlfriend knowing?!!How ironically could it be when a used-to-be-girlfriend innocently became the third party.OF COURSE I SAID NO.Although i really really wanted to hang out with him to see if we still deserve a chance but it wouldn’t be fair to his current girlfriend.And i told him if we’re only friends,he should invite me to his party instead of dating me out on a Sunday night without letting his girlfriend know.

 

And after this whole ‘he wanted to ask me out for a date’ thingy occured,he tells me that he wanted to break up with her and eventually he did.But in the middle they were on and off.He told me that he sympathize her and he felt so guilty to her,so he asked me to wait for her exams to be over and he’ll break up with her and patch back with me. And i really did wait.

 

Sometimes he would ask me to his house for dinner,tell me how much his mum misses me and we did have dinner a few times.And he could just lie infront of my face whenever she calls him.Do you know how i feel?I felt like crap.And he would ask me not to post our outings on twitter or whatnot,incase she knows about it.

 

I knew that he was lying to me cause he never ever thought of giving up her nor me.He just want both of the girls i guess,and practically we,the girls are like oysters on the plate and he’s still choosing which is fresher and bigger.I know that he was just holding me on so he could get both of the girls.

 

I told him i quit,i wanted to move on already.Then he lied to me that he was already single and even prove to me on his FB status that he was single.

 

EVERYTHING WAS A LIE.And the girl on the other side doesn’t know bout anything till i called her and tried to sort all the mysteries out.

 

He knows that i’ll still wait for him no matter how,so it doesn’t really matter if he’s out there having fun with other girls.Till then when he’s bored of them,he’ll come back to my side.I DON’T WANT THIS KIND OF PERSON TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.

 

Really.And i don’t want a coward like this to be my boyfriend either.So i moved on,and i really treated him as a friend only.Whenever he sees that i’m moving on,he holds me back.But whenever i’m ready to commit and give him another chance to try,he’ll just turn me off and ask me to wait.

 

What’s enough,its enough.He wanted another chance(which already been given alot of times) on my birthday party,but i guess i’m already immune.He calls me eventhough i’m so far away,and like old times,he lied to her.Suprisingly i was strong enough to walk away from someone i really really couldn’t give up on.It might hurt,but this is a process of healing i guess.

 

Now everything’s clear enough,i guess he’s going back to the girl’s side,because he knows that there’s no hope that i’ll be with him anymore.

 

Sometimes i just wish that i could give her a tight slap on her face so that she would be totally awake and ask  her to stop being delusional because she deserves a better guy.She doesn’t deserve to be the spare tyre or replacement that she shouldn’t be.

 

But i heard love is blind.Go live your happily ever after.

 

What happens on year 2009 stays in year 2009,there’s always a reason why people like him didn’t make it to my future.

 

I should be glad.Its not like i’ll die without having a boyfriend right?Who knows i’ll find someone better?

P/S:To everyone of you out there,sometimes you can’t just protect your boyfriend blindly without knowing the situation.IT MIGHT JUST HURT YOU MORE.And if you think that other girls are seducing your boyfriend,please tie him up in the cannal and look after him.It might be better,or not.Because you can’t make a drama scene when there’s only one actor on stage.I might look like a fool for writing this post,but it doesn’t really matter anymore.

 

Btw,forgive&forget?Hell yeah.Forgive myself for being so stupid and naive,and forget that he even existed in my life.

 

Sometimes you might seem strong for keep holding on,but it really takes much more strength to just let it go and move on.I might sound agressive at times,looking tough and strong like nothing in this world worries me much..If i could lift it up,i could put it down..

 

 

But deep down inside,i’m just a girl.

 

 

Edited*

 

If anyone of you tend to leave harsh comments saying that i’m trying to spread rumors or yada yada..I don’t think its a very good idea,the only person who had the conversation is me,him & her.Well unless they want to cover up the truth and say i’m trying to ruin their relationship by spreading this big fat rumor,i really have nothing to say.But…phone messages and records might explain better.Do i need to say more?

 

And please read twice before you want to judge me,afterall i just thought it would be a very good lesson to share with my female readers.Is there something wrong?

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 

xo.

Posted under All that love., Ghost of the girlfriend's past., Uncategorized by Isabella on Thursday 31 December 2009 at 1:36 am

The ‘My officially turning 18′ party.

Oh gawd.

 

I’m still so young!

 

 

HAHA.Anyone who is twenty & above is going to hate me for me this,or maybe not.Not to worry,my time will come eventually!!Next year’s the BIG OHH-TEN and my exam for the ABRSM is falling on the April.This exam’s really important to me wether i’ll sign into the music academy or not.And not practising my piano for 2 weeks makes me feel really crappy,i already could feel the rusty-ness of my fingers.Everything’s back to square one when i’m back to Tanah Air Ku.

 

 

 

Hopefully not.

 

 

So you people!!Do not tempt me when i’m back okay,i want to be a good girl.

  

 

AS IF I WILL.Teehee.

 

Celebrated my birthday at the Gita Bayu clubhouse,its a resident’s clubhouse where i’m staying right now.Didn’t expect to make it big but at the end i think i have to because i’ve so many friends who are dear to me and i really wanted to celebrate with them!So i ended up celebrating in the clubhouse instead of having a small get together at my house.But the choices of food and the ambiance were really good,thumbs up for the management for putting an effort decorating the place.

 

 

Jerome came by around 11 ish in the morning before the and we headed to Subang to have breakfast with Ms.Adele.Then all of us went back o my crib and my awesome ji mui offered me a hair treatment package as a birthday pressie and he gave me this super duper soothing hair treatment which really soothes my hair scalp till i really wanted to fall asleep and not show up to my party anymore.The product was made of mint,can you imagine how cooling it is?!Adele coloured her hair too!

 

Jerome’s the best!

 

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They even put up a mini Christmas tree already to suit the Christmas mood which is just around the corner.

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I love the way they decorated the table!So colourful!

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One of the early guests,Stephanie!Sorry i didn’t get to accompany you much,but i promise i’ll make up to you when i’m back!

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My Amelia darling…

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The two big sisters,awwww.

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Adele,Helen,sweetie pie Jac and Elysia!

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Tiong,moi and Jac.

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The female badminton kakis..

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A-de-le.New pronounciation,AIR DELLY.

Ahahahaha.Jerome’s mistake,its his fault.Anything find him okay.

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Of course,my cute family and some family friends!

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Highschool mates!The volleyball gang and my best bitching buddy.

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Peacock feather hairband from Diva,bought it to match my dresss.

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Gerald,Grace and one of her friend.(sorry am vry bad at names)

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And guess who’s back to suprise me ONCE AGAIN!

My photogenic Xindii Juju!All the way from Perth!And she lied and said her flight delayed but actually no!I’m really happy cause most of my friends made it..

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The darling cupcakes.

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Need me to introduce much?

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I’m grinning,i’m grinning…hahahaha.

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Carlston the big eater!Nom nom nom…

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My cool mum.Love you mummy!

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Barbara and Gary.

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The badminton gang with Xindii.

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Samie,Anne,Miki and Jun Hao.Thank you for coming!And sorry that i made you guys went all the wrong way.Really appreciated of you guys for being so patient finding the place.

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Big brother Qing Huang.

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William.This boy is farking 17 but he looks like he’d been through his puberty when he was 8??Sadly he’s taken by whoever this lucky girl is,so don’t even think about it.HAHA.

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Chuckei&Daphne.

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HAHA,poser.Louis don’t act cool can or not?!

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Felicia.

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Ivan and Carlston.

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The ‘more mature’ group,David,Ryan and Wayne.

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Fushen&Minfei.

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This guy brought his own lobster for dinner!

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Nom nom nom nom…

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Ahhhh,finally!The birthday cake.

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Whoa,happy happy face!

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Okay,i laugh like a horse now.

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My mama & moi.

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Being very greedy this year..

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My girls..

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My badminton gang!I miss badminton session already!!

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Kick it to the flow~

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Bunny very busy helping me to cut the cake,thanks babe!

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The streetwear maniacs.

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Valerie!!

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My birthday kiss..

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Mum&aunt Swee Poh.

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crazy lovely bitches.

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Me,Sun & Eric.

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Elysia&moi.

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Mel!!My very own birthday photographer.He takes awesome pictures!

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Sho cute!Just like Doreen,nowonder they made a perfect match.

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 Dudes.

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Aaron,moi&Eujin.

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Me and Kenny.

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Thank you once again!For helping me throughout the party!He was sweating so much that night,like he had ran across the whole South Africa.

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Random beauty peagent pic..

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‘Birthday girl must have champagne!’ –Bra’s quote.

That’s why she bought be a bottle of champagne.

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The end of the night was really tiring,but i really had fun catching up with my babes!

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Pressies with lots of love!

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Amelia’s special birthday card.She says it comes with a suprise with Helen and the others but the only when i’m back from Germany.

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The sayang made this for me!Awww.With all our pictures and memories.Sweet!

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Jac’s winter coat,i made good use of it in Germany!So warm and cozy…

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Fragrances from my babes and dudes.Thanks!Love it very much.

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Steph’s Body Shop kit,made me smell so good when im in Germany.And its mini size!So its really convinient for me to bring it around.

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From the highschool chics!

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Xindii’s cotton candy cone,so chio!

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Franny,Ryan&Wayne’s share.You know how much i love Paul&Joe.

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Thanks to ya’ll for coming,i really appreciated the effort you guys made to find the place.Because its a very ulu place,i know right.I hope everyone did enjoy that night,and im really really sorry if i ever left anyone out!

 

I’d wish i had like extra clones of me so that i could really spend more time talk to everyone of you!!Will catch up with you guys very soon!

 

I MISS YOU PEOPLE AFTERALL.

 

 

5 more days…tic tok tic tok….

 

 

Loads of sweet love that could cause you having diabetes from,

Isabella.

Posted under Birthdays!, Dinner!, Family., My best girlfriends!, Uncategorized, Weddings/celebrations. by Isabella on Wednesday 30 December 2009 at 6:10 pm

Its Christmas!!

Enough of indoor posts already!

 

 

 

 

Its time to bring you outdoor and show you Ulm’s neighbourhood!It was Christmas and basically everywhere’s closed.Mainly people stay home for Christmas lunch,head out for a walk and head back to the cozy house for some tea break.Haven’t been hanging out alot in Germany,staying home most of the time,eat,eat and eat like nobody’s business and drink beer.Plus they’re having public holidays right now,so there’s no chance for us to hang out because all the shops are closed.

 

 

 

Sad case.I wanna go shopping so badly…

 

 

 

 

Will be anticipating for tomorrow’s schedule!Whatever it is,it must be something good.

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Had some champagne for Christmas brunch!

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Stew veggies!The very first time Ms.Isabellakuan actually hooked up on peas.But it taste a whole lot better than the ones i had in Malaysia.Frozen peas,ptuui!

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Fleisch,meat loaf made of pork.Suprisingly tender and juicy!Compliment with mustard or the homemade brown sauce.

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Kroketten.Something like mashed potato but only it was wrapped with a thin layer of crispy crust and the inner part were moist and warm.

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Sissy mixing cocktails with the champagne and juices.

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The very cute hankie!

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Went out for a stroll when the adults were busy preparing desserts for tea time.

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It was another warm day,warm Christmas day.

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I’m so in love with this house!

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Paid a visit at Linda’s Kindergarten just around the corner of the neighbourhood,it was a holiday..

Trespassing!!

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Mushroom.

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Back to childhood memories!!

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Swing swing swing…

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A little too huge for swings don’t you think?

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Never so happy before…

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Even the world’s filled with black&white,a little touch from the heart will always makes life greater.

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Linda!!

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Teaching the kids to do jumps shots,well done!

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Smiley face paintings on the garbage bin brightens up the eerie,cold neighbourhood in winter.

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My sugar pies.

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Christmas is over..

 

 

 

WHAT’S FOR NEW YEARS?

 

 

Time for lunch!Bonappetite.

 

 

 

Loads of sticky love from,

Isabella

Posted under Family., Germany, Travel, Uncategorized, Weddings/celebrations. by Isabella on Sunday 27 December 2009 at 8:03 pm

Jolly Christmas eve.

Are you having a good Christmas?

 

 

 

Well,i am.Spending some quality time with the family,having good food and beer,enjoy the warmth and joy of Christmas.Ahhhh,it was good.Sadly there’s no white Christmas for us this year cause the snow melted few days ago,but i’m glad we headed up the mountain earlier ago before the weather turns warm.

Joined my cousins to the church during Christmas eve,although i didn’t know what were they speaking(because its in German) but i enjoyed the Christmas carols!And i think i’ve the urge to learn and speak German because there are too many hot ang mohs already.Even in the church you know!!Ahhhh,couldn’t resist.They’re so effing hawt.Especially the skiing instructor.

Ooo la la.

 

 

 

 

No,wait.I think the one at the Church was hotter.

 

 

 

 

CANNOT MAKE IT LA IF I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE.

Must speak German.(This is definitely going to be one of my New Year’s resolutions.)

 

Its easier said than done.We’ll see.

 

 

 

The cutie Niklas.I’d always wanted to pinch his cute red cheeks whenever i sees him.

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Christmas tree!With all the tempting presents below.

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The lovely ornaments!White bushy beard Santa!!

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Mr.snowman.

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Lighting candles.

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Paperwork!Linda made it.

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Niklas can’t stand still for one minute.ITS TRUE.

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Aunt Peitra preparing the feast!

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Mum and sissy setting the table.

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Cute hankie!

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The grandparents joined us for dinner.You see,Nik really can’t stay still for one minute.Even the first picture i took of him was just lucky of me.

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Sissy.

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Love you!!

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Linda.

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The three of us.

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So after dinner i had been given a task to distract the kids up to my room just to give the adults time to put the presents under the Christmas tree.(Because they still believed in Santa).

 

 

When the bell rings…….

The kids rushed down and they were so excited to check on the presents!They really believed that Santa came by,so cute!!

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Linda ripping off the wrappings…

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Nik with his presents.

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I didn’t know i’ve got  presents too!Cause mum said i was too old for presents,but ended up Aunt Peitra got me one!Frangrances from the local designer.It smells so good.And some money from Helmut and mum.Enough for me to get my new semi pro camera.

 

Ahhhh,wondering should i go to Bangkok for shopping spree or getting myself a new camera.

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Sissy with her presents,bookworm must have storybooks!She got two.

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And……

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Her beloved Hannah Montana parfum….

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Linda got a MP3 from the grandparents.

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Camwhore session!

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He’s tooo cute!Like a doll.

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This is good shit.Gummy bears.OMG,must buy a gazillion packets when i’m back to Malaysia.

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So this is how i celebrated my Christmas eve this year!Simple but warm and full of laughter.

 

Come back tomorrow for more posts!!

 

 

Loads of love,

Isabella.

Posted under Christmas 2009, Dinner!, Family., Germany, Travel, Uncategorized, Weddings/celebrations. by Isabella on Saturday 26 December 2009 at 3:25 am

Greetings from Winterwonderland!

In case i couldn’t wish you guys on time!!Cause i’m heading down the mountain tomorrow back to town,and the connection kinda suck in the house.

Happy holidays!!

Much love from Bella.

Posted under Germany, Travel, Uncategorized, Videos! by Isabella on Wednesday 23 December 2009 at 3:05 am

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