Forgive & forget.
‘Do you like my present?Teddy’s heart was suppose to be missing but i think he had found his heart back to you.I hope that you would put it on top of your piano and when you see teddy,you’ll think of me.’ He says.
‘Hmm,i dont think its a good idea.Crystals are fragile and they’ll break easily.I think i’ll just keep it safe in the box.’ She said.
But deep down inside she knows,it isn’t the crystals she wanted to protect.It was her feelings,her sadness for those awful memories that happened,she was trying to burried it deep down just like how she’s going to keep that crystal teddy bear in the box,leaving it untouched forever.She wanted to forget bout the past,and everything.But only when this crystal has to be out of her sight,and its too beautiful to destroy it.
‘Can you give me a hug?’ He asked,but she refused to,cause she knows she has to let him go.
‘Its late,you should get going now.Don’t let them wait too long.‘She says bitterly.
There,he left.Warm tears were rolling down her cheeks.
Who knows the night of my birthday will end like this.PATHETIC.I had doubts when i was writing this,but now i don’t.Because i’m so sick of assholes lying their teeth off and everyone thinks that i’m the bitchy dramatic ex trying to ruin some happily ever after relationship my ex boyfriend’s having which was a lie.I think i should just stand up for myself once,or maybe twice.
If i’m treating him good,i’m just being cruel to myself.And why on earth should i offer him a heart full of mercy when he doesn’t even have mercy towards me?!
Many of you might be thinking,’why this girl like that one?!’ Her ex boyfriend treat her so good,and now she’s trying to write a post to ruin him.
Sad to tell you,your good looking prince charming weren’t the mr.nice guy you’ve seen in my blog years ago.Now he’s the biggest loser i’ve ever seen in my life.Yes,and i’m referring to my we-used-to-be-very-lovey-dovey ex boyfriend,Sun.Yes,i know its not a good idea to blog about him at this hour because we’ve nothing to do with each other anymore.But i think i’ll regret for the rest of my life for not letting it out.
THIS IS MY BLOG AFTERALL.I can write whatever i want.
Occasionally,he’ll text me messages that tell me how much he misses me and how much he still loves me and he can’t forget me after the break up.His new girlfriend were just merely a replacement to heal his broken heart.And to be honest,sometimes i’ll get influence by his messages and i will think that how nice if we’re still together.But i don’t really bother to reply,or maybe i’ll just make a joke and laugh it off so that things wouldn’t be so awkward.Till then once,it was November and it was his birthday,he invited me out for a date on a Sunday night for movies and dinner to celebrate his birthday(He has a girlfriend okay.)
And he has this house party going on,on Saturday night and he says he couldn’t invite me because his girlfriend’s going to be there so that he wanted to date me out on Sunday night.So what am i going to be?!The third party who sneaks out with him without his girlfriend knowing?!!How ironically could it be when a used-to-be-girlfriend innocently became the third party.OF COURSE I SAID NO.Although i really really wanted to hang out with him to see if we still deserve a chance but it wouldn’t be fair to his current girlfriend.And i told him if we’re only friends,he should invite me to his party instead of dating me out on a Sunday night without letting his girlfriend know.
And after this whole ‘he wanted to ask me out for a date’ thingy occured,he tells me that he wanted to break up with her and eventually he did.But in the middle they were on and off.He told me that he sympathize her and he felt so guilty to her,so he asked me to wait for her exams to be over and he’ll break up with her and patch back with me. And i really did wait.
Sometimes he would ask me to his house for dinner,tell me how much his mum misses me and we did have dinner a few times.And he could just lie infront of my face whenever she calls him.Do you know how i feel?I felt like crap.And he would ask me not to post our outings on twitter or whatnot,incase she knows about it.
I knew that he was lying to me cause he never ever thought of giving up her nor me.He just want both of the girls i guess,and practically we,the girls are like oysters on the plate and he’s still choosing which is fresher and bigger.I know that he was just holding me on so he could get both of the girls.
I told him i quit,i wanted to move on already.Then he lied to me that he was already single and even prove to me on his FB status that he was single.
EVERYTHING WAS A LIE.And the girl on the other side doesn’t know bout anything till i called her and tried to sort all the mysteries out.
He knows that i’ll still wait for him no matter how,so it doesn’t really matter if he’s out there having fun with other girls.Till then when he’s bored of them,he’ll come back to my side.I DON’T WANT THIS KIND OF PERSON TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.
Really.And i don’t want a coward like this to be my boyfriend either.So i moved on,and i really treated him as a friend only.Whenever he sees that i’m moving on,he holds me back.But whenever i’m ready to commit and give him another chance to try,he’ll just turn me off and ask me to wait.
What’s enough,its enough.He wanted another chance(which already been given alot of times) on my birthday party,but i guess i’m already immune.He calls me eventhough i’m so far away,and like old times,he lied to her.Suprisingly i was strong enough to walk away from someone i really really couldn’t give up on.It might hurt,but this is a process of healing i guess.
Now everything’s clear enough,i guess he’s going back to the girl’s side,because he knows that there’s no hope that i’ll be with him anymore.
Sometimes i just wish that i could give her a tight slap on her face so that she would be totally awake and ask her to stop being delusional because she deserves a better guy.She doesn’t deserve to be the spare tyre or replacement that she shouldn’t be.
But i heard love is blind.Go live your happily ever after.
What happens on year 2009 stays in year 2009,there’s always a reason why people like him didn’t make it to my future.
I should be glad.Its not like i’ll die without having a boyfriend right?Who knows i’ll find someone better?
P/S:To everyone of you out there,sometimes you can’t just protect your boyfriend blindly without knowing the situation.IT MIGHT JUST HURT YOU MORE.And if you think that other girls are seducing your boyfriend,please tie him up in the cannal and look after him.It might be better,or not.Because you can’t make a drama scene when there’s only one actor on stage.I might look like a fool for writing this post,but it doesn’t really matter anymore.
Btw,forgive&forget?Hell yeah.Forgive myself for being so stupid and naive,and forget that he even existed in my life.
Sometimes you might seem strong for keep holding on,but it really takes much more strength to just let it go and move on.I might sound agressive at times,looking tough and strong like nothing in this world worries me much..If i could lift it up,i could put it down..
But deep down inside,i’m just a girl.
Edited*
If anyone of you tend to leave harsh comments saying that i’m trying to spread rumors or yada yada..I don’t think its a very good idea,the only person who had the conversation is me,him & her.Well unless they want to cover up the truth and say i’m trying to ruin their relationship by spreading this big fat rumor,i really have nothing to say.But…phone messages and records might explain better.Do i need to say more?
And please read twice before you want to judge me,afterall i just thought it would be a very good lesson to share with my female readers.Is there something wrong?
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
xo.
