Sorry i have not been bloggin about 2 weeks,i felt depressed lately but i’m fine now.I have not been a good daughter after all,i kinda left my dad alone.I cried so hard and i wanted to say sorry to him but i couldn’t tell out infront of him.Sometimes i jus wanted to say ‘i love you daddy’ or ‘i am sorry daddy’ but i just couldn’t.I only dare to say it out through msg and emails.I talked to my Eng Literature teacher lately and i bursted my tears out infront of her,i told her that i love him so much but what i did is i hurt him deeply.I want him to understand that i love him alot.But i don’t dare to tell or show it to him.The last time i hugged him its vry long time ago.What happen to me?I wanted to hug him but i don’t dare to do it.I felt shy and depressed.Baby says i should call him and talk to him so i called him up on monday and i called him for lunch in my school.He says he will meet me in school when he is free.He told me that he love me and finally i told him loud,i told him ‘I LOVE YOU TOO DADDY’.
I’m fine now,smiling so wide that it almost reached my ears.
I have received some emails from some readers and testimonials that which they always ask the same questions.How to belike me or why do i have a good life or i own everything that makes them adore me and envy me alot.I guess i shoud tell out what is the real me made of.
1.About family,if you think i have a good family,no i don’t.
My parents got divorce since i’m at the age of 6,when anyone heard about this news from me,they are gonna be like they are really sorry for me.And what i always says is,i don’t care la,i get used to it already.Actually i do care,you know how much i wish i have a normal family like everyone does?Some ppl says that it is so cool to have a German stepfather which i frankly think its ridiculous.Who wants a stepfather if they have a real father?Its not to say that i’m giving a cold-shoulder to my uncle now,i still thank him for taking care of me. But its just,i’m a human too,who will want their parents to get divorce?NO.Absolutely not unless theres other really bad reason.You guys have something that i don’t have,so why craving to be like someone else that you think is perfect?You don’t even know.You should appreciate your family and stick with em,i don’t own everything.Sometimes i just get depressed of all this.
2.You envy me cuz i got to buy what i want and i live glamorously.
Everyone loves to judge a book by its cover,they just directly fall in love to what they thinks its nice and beautiful.But they don’t know the story behind the shots.I got to buy what i want cuz i tried so hard for it.Don’t envy me cuz theres nothing to be jealous or envy about.Its not like i’m getting it for free or i get what i want easily you know?
3.How to be pretty?
Make up i guess.If i don’t put on make up i think you won’t recognise me or take a second look on me.And some ppl says they love my hair.Let me tell you what……..i don’t brush my hair.Not even twice in a week.But i do believe that you also can be pretty without make up if you drink lots of water,sleep early,exercise and eat healthy.You will not just pretty face with soft skin,you could have a nice curvy body too.
I love clothes,i think proabably clothes make me feel special.I try out new outfit everyweek and style.And sticks to the one which really suites me alot.Make up is a kind of manners for me,sometimes going out to anywhere,apply some cosmetics on.It will not only make you feel confident but also a manners towards the people you are gonna meet.I don’t think its a good manners if they are meeting you looking pale or untidy.At least make yourself feel fresh and clean,let them have a good impression on you.
Yes,i do impress people by putting effort making myself looking nice.This is life,you impress people and you hope people like you more than hate you.But don’t over do it,people might feel disgusted.If anyone who claims themselves that they don’t like to impress anyone,they are lying.What about family?What about relationships?You impress your family cuz you want them to be proud of you,you impress your love ones just to make them love you more!I don’t think it is any wrong,you just wanna be better,that’s all.
4.I look so sweet with my boyfriend.
Yes,we do look sweet.But not always,we have arguments and unhappy memories as well.Just like last week,we had a big fight.Who is gonna embarass themselves by writing out stuufs that are really shame of them in their relationship?Or probably they are not that sweet but they just pretend to look sweet infront of everyone,you will never know.Its not necessarily for everyone to have the guts to tell out everything,not everyone is honest.
Who will wish to tell out stuffs like their bf have an affair with other girl or their bf just abuse them on blogs?So,whatever it looks so perfect does not mean it is really that perfect.
Happy day does not last for everyday.Sometimes ppl go through the best of thier life and sometimes the worst.But what i always believe is,god is fair,he will give you the best moments in your life and also the worst.When you face the worst part,he will also give you the strength to solve it.After that,you get over it and you will be happy again.You go through over and over again,you can’t escape.
5.How to be skinny like me.
Haha!This question really laugh my ass off.Someone even ask me that am i the kinda girl who controls my diet just to look skinny.No way!I eat alot,SERIOUSLY.You won’t believe how much i can eat.I use to add rice in school and i eat alot of carbs.Carbs make you fat easily.If you want to be skinny like me following my chemistry,i think you gonna be more fat than you are now.I just always tell people that,my metabolism rate is high,tat’s why i’m skinny no matter how much i eat.So,sorry i can’t help you.
6.Who is my best friend?
Best friends for me is they will share and care about you every single day and they really love you(not sexually love of course).But till now NO ONE have ever done this to me.Sometimes i felt that my friends are using me to bring them to the best parties or accompany them when they don’t have anyone to hang out with or mayb they have a BOYFRIEND already and they only stick thier ass with the BF that are not so nice and loyal to them actually and treated you like nothing.
And sometimes they just act so weird like they are so anti-social with you or something when they have other friends around.But when those friends are not here,they treat you different,they are to friendly to you.Some people wants to be my friends cuz they wants to fit in my group and know more people.I have been through a vry tough friendship in my previous school that makes me not to trust anyone easily or putting my friends into a vry vry important position like treating them they are all that in your life.
I used to think that friendship is everything,but now to me friendship its just like wind.It will come and go easily.Sometimes its strong and sometimes its weak.Friendship are also hypocritical.I have friends who used to be a hypocrite.I mean ex-friends.You know its so irony that they still can be friends with the person they hate so much and they even know they hate each other till the maX.Imagine that they used to give each other a cock stare at the back of each other and then turn into a sweet barbie doll face infront of each other and start talking so nicely and bitch abt others.But they used to bitch about each other and they know it!What’s their point to do all this?you know why?Cuz they don’t even have friends.They need to do all this to save thier pathetic friendship so that they can at least have someone to talk to and lean on.Being two-face and a hypocrite is so lifeless,when i asked them like’i thought you don’t like her?So why do you still wanna treat her so nicely and talk to her?’Then they gonna be like,’oh,i didn’t talk to her 1st la,she come and talk to me 1st.’And what reason is this?No one wants to hear explanation when you already did so
mething hypocritical.It makes you more fake by explaining.SO STOP IT!If you are that bitchy to do it,just admit it and stop giving excuses.
My boyfriend is the only one who shares everything with me and i shares everything with him.He helped me go through tough times,make me laugh,having fun together all the time.Undeniabaly he is my best soul mate.
So now i guess you understands me a lil.Things which looks nice outside doesn’t mean everything of them are perfect.You probably have something that she is doesn’t have or she is envy about too.Its okay you don’t adore me now because you find out i am not the girl in your heart that you think its cool.I am a human and human are always imperfect.We are the same!We are relatives,sisters and brothers.No one is perfect.
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